How did I get here?

I was trying to escape an abusive relationship that I was in for five years with the father for my second child Damien. Damien was not always abusive towards me. The first time he hit me we were arguing about him staying out all night with his cousin who is a bisexual female who sales dope in the tenderloin or the TL and I had a serious problem with that because I didn't know his cousin nor did i trust my man around a bunch of bisexual females all night and he was coming home until 12pm in the afternoon yea I had a serious problem with the way shit was going so I put my foot down and i told him if you want to hang out all night with your cousin and her friends then you need to go live with her and let me go and we argued and I pushed him twice and he punched me in the face and he jumped on top of me and started to choke me and he wouldn't let go of my neck and he was squeezing me so tight that I could not call my mom and dad for help  I started to blackout he almost killed me. I had my heart broken many times before so I was coming in to the relationship with major emotional damage and so was he but not from having a broken heart but from being abused by his mom. My niece knew Damien and his mom before me and I remember her  telling me once that Damien's mom used to abuse him and she would beat him with phones and anything she could find around the house and Damien told me hims self that he grew up watching his dad beat his mom. I grew up totally different I've been extremely blessed to have my mom and my real dad live with me my whole life and take care of my 7 sisters and brothers and even though my parents had alot of kids we did not grow up poor my mom is well educated and has worked as a high school teacher and as a preschool master teacher and my dad was in the army and after he retired he got a job as a welder and retired from that as well. Anyway when I met Damien I was ready for a real relationship none of that boyfriend and girlfriend I come see you you come see me no we moved in together after a week and one year later we had daisy but between him moving in with me and my parents and me having daisy he had started showing signs that he maybe a abusive person. One time we were arguing because he said I had an attitude and I did because I was hungry and I wanted to get a sandwich so he took me to get it in my car that I let him drive without a license mind you! I was doing all kinds of stupid shit for him a with him because I was IN LOVE with him any it took a long time because when i went in it was like 3 people in line waiting to get their sandwiches made and when I finally got my sandwich and I came outside he was gone in my CAR so I called him and I told him to bring my car back and I told him he could drive and that from now on I'm driving he drove off again we fought for about two hours that day.